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From the age of about 8 months, you will begin to notice that the baby becomes particularly upset when you leave him or when he needs to be left alone or with a caregiver.

This stage is a normal developmental phenomenon and is called separation anxiety.

It peaks at about 18 months and can last until 2, perhaps even 4 years of age, an age at which he understands that his parents will return every time they leave.

Separation anxiety has a biological explanation.

In the first weeks of life, the baby is unable to separate himself from the mother, he considers her to be a single entity (Connection). Gradually, however, he begins to perceive the mother as a separate entity and develops the ability to hold her image in his mind, even when he cannot see her. The infant’s realization that he is a separate entity is a shocking event for him, as his need for development clashes with the loss he feels from the Separation from the mother.

The internal conflict mentally stresses the baby and is expressed in intense verbal and physical reactions, crying and agitation.

This processing is completed at the age of 2-2.5 years, when he separates from his mother with the certainty that she is not lost, but will return.

Separation anxiety is not something you can avoid, as it is a stage that all young children go through.

However, there are ways to help your child experience it as painlessly as possible.

• Aim for routine and stability. Frequent changes in daily routine create insecurity in babies and young children.
• Keep your cool and patient.
• Avoid negative comments and descriptions to the child.
• Do not tease him when you leave him, that is, do not push him away from the door and do not make the caregiver distract him so that you can sneak away. This method shakes his trust in you.
• Avoid emotional and long separations. Greet the child briefly, sweetly and decisively.
• Explain to him in a few words where you are going and when you will return, e.g. “I’ll be back after lunch.”
• Encourage the development of other important relationships, especially with the father and siblings.
• A “transitional object” could help the child feel secure while you are away.